S'mores Blondies

So last night I went out with a couple of my girlfriends who I have known for almost 15 years.

Unfortunately between the craziness of life and the distance between us, it seems we don't get together nearly as often as we should.  But we had so much fun catching up over dinner & some cocktails, and as we were reminiscing about old times it started turning into griping about new times. 

Mainly, the fact that once you get to be around 30 years of age, your appearance really starts to change.

And... it can be a little disconcerting.

Some of it is the result of not realizing that when you're young & dumb, you will pay for it later.

Like baking in the sun all day without sunscreen.

Especially when you lived at the beach your whole life, and then went to college in Florida.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID.

Then again, other problems seem to crop up out of nowhere.

For instance, despite the beautiful weather outside, my friend observed that the three of us were all wearing cardigans - not because they're cute, but (as we all admitted) because showing the upper arm/back area has started to get downright dicey.

Not that any of us are overweight, it just seems like things that used to be tight are suddenly... er.... not-so-tight.

As my one friend put it, she woke up one day and noticed she had 'a couple of steaks' on either side of her back.

Now while that is definitely an exaggeration, I will say I know the feeling.

And the worst part is that it's only the beginning.

Ahh!

Something tells me these blondies probably aren't helping? 

Good thing Mr. Vittles spared me the calories & single-handedly ate the entire pan.

Smore's Blondies

• 1/2 C. Butter (1 stick), melted and cooled slightly
• 1 C. brown sugar, packed
• 1 egg
• 1 t. vanilla extract
• 1/2 + 1/3 C. all purpose flour
• 1/4 C. whole wheat pastry flour
• 1/2 C. Graham Cracker Crumbs
• 1/4 t. salt
• 1/4 t. baking powder
• 3 1-oz. semisweet chocolate squares, chopped (1/2 C.) or chocolate chunks
• 1 C. miniature marshmallows

Preheat oven to 350F.

Beat together melted butter and brown sugar until smooth.  Add egg and vanilla extract, mix well.

Combine flours, graham cracker crumbs, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl.  Beat butter & sugar mixture on low, and with mixer running, add dry ingredients slowly.  Mix just until no flour streaks remain.  Add chocolate and marshmallows and mix to distribute evenly.

Press into a greased 8 or 9 inch square baking dish (dough will be pretty stiff).  Bake 20-25 minutes, do not over bake (22 minutes was perfect for me).  The blondies should be very soft when you take them out.  Cool completely.

Recipe Adapted from Shove It In Your Face

Salted Caramel Nutella Brownies

Is it just me or has something been a little off the last few days?

I can't put my finger on it but I have just been getting a weird vibe, and odd things have been happening.

Work has been totally insane - or more specifically, the people I encounter at work have been insane.  I don't even want to get into it, so you'll just have to trust me on that.

But even at home, it's been a bit strange...

For instance, I came home from work a couple days ago to find the police parked in front of my house, "helping" a very old & very inebriated gentleman remove himself from my neighbor's lawn.

Nothing like getting sassy on a random Wednesday afternoon, and stopping for a little nap in the grass on your walk home!

Then yesterday evening, our living room ceiling started leaking water out of nowhere.  A huge patch of ceiling became saturated & discolored in a matter of minutes, and was dripping from all different parts.

Our landlords have a plumber coming to fix it and I'm sure it will be totally fine but... ahh!

Probably weirdest of all though is that my husband has not been sleeping.

Now I know a lot of people have this problem - but for Mr. V, it's like the cosmos have come to a screeching halt and turned his life upside down.

Typically, he sleeps like a rock... on tranquilizers... that's been hit over the head with a frying pan.

However, the house we recently moved to is on a bit of a busy street, and he's been having trouble sleeping with the sound of the passing cars.  So the slightest movement from me now wakes him up. 

Like... the sound of the lightswitch on the lamp.

??

Seriously.  I don't even know this man.  For years, not only could I turn off the light, I could probably unscrew the lightbulb and throw it at his head without him noticing a thing.

So now with his newfound problem, he's been setting up a sleeping bag in the only room in our house where you can't hear traffic driving by outside - our (large) closet. 

Which means I get to step over 7 layers of sleeping bags & random blankets in order to get to my clothes in the morning.

Crazy, I tell you.  Just crazy.

What's also crazy is that I have never put together Nutella, brownies, and salted caramel before this week.

On Monday I bought a fresh jar of Nutella at the store and was contemplating what to make with it.  I decided on brownies, and I found a good recipe on Noble Pig for Peanut Butter-Nutella Brownies.

But I was shooting for a more Nutella-y brownie, so I replaced the peanut butter with more Nutella.

Because I can.

Surprisingly, though, the Nutella flavor is still fairly subtle.  Maybe it's overpowered by the salted caramel (that was a complete afterthought)?

But who cares.  They're fudgy, rich, gooey, and absolutely delicious.

I need something to keep me sane in this mad, mad world!

Salted Caramel Nutella Brownies

• 1/2 C. flour
• 1/2 C. unsweeteend cocoa powder
• pinch salt
• 1/4 t. baking powder
• 1 stick (8 T.) butter, melted
• 3/4 C. + 2 T. sugar
• 1 t. pure vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 C. Nutella spread

Caramel Glaze

• 1/4 C. heavy cream
• 1 C. sugar
• 1/4 C. water
• 2 T. butter, cut in pieces
• 1/2 t. kosher salt, divided

Preheat oven 350 degrees.  Grease an 8x8 square pan (or you may line with foil & grease, if desired - will make it easier to serve later after glazed).  In small bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt.  Set aside.

In large microwavable bowl, melt butter in 20 second intervals, stirring after each until smooth.  Add sugar & vanilla, and whisk until well-combined.  Add eggs one at a time, whisking well after each addition.  Add cocoa mixture and whisk until fully combined. 

In glass measuring cup or other microwave-safe bowl, melt Nutella in 20-second intervals, stirring after each, until smooth and pourable consistency.  Stir into batter.  Pour into prepared pan and bake 27-30 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. 

Allow to cool completely, then make glaze: in small saucepan over low heat, warm heavy cream - do not boil.  In separate medium saucepan, combine sugar & water but DO NOT STIR.  Place over medium-high heat & bring to a boil.  Cook until mixture turns an amber color, but not too dark that it looks like the sugar is burning.  (For me this took 5-7 minutes, but keep an eye on it.) 

Remove from heat and add warm cream, butter, and 1/2 t. kosher salt.  Stir gently until smooth & well combined.  Pour over cooked brownies, tilting the pan to coat.  Sprinkle with remaining 1/2 t. kosher salt.  Allow glaze to set before cutting/serving.

Brownie Recipe Adapted from Noble Pig; Caramel Glaze Slightly Adapted from Pioneer Woman

Peanut Butter Fudge S'mores Bars

So I was thinking - now that Mr. Vittles and I have been married over a year, are we still considered newlyweds?

I may have to change the whole concept of my blog!

Vittles and Bits: An Old Married Lady's Adventures in Culinary Bliss.

Hmmm... Doesn't really have the same ring to it.

Well I know a year certainly doesn't constitute being an 'old married lady,' but I do have moments where I feel that way.  Marriage part aside, we've been a couple for a good while now, and anyone that's out of the puppy love phase knows how that can be.

One thing that I've noticed is, as time goes on is you stop being embarrassed around your significant other.  I can remember getting sick on our first vacation together 4 months into our relationship, but I refused to let Mr. V see that I wasn't feeling well - even when he was speed-walking through the airport because he thought we were going to miss our connecting flight, while I hobbled along in the far distance, fearing I'd toss my cookies at any moment.

That would never happen today. 

No, today things like this happen - I am in the shower and realize there is a cricket in between the shower curtain & the clear liner, so I yell for Mr. V to come get it.  He happens to grab the curtain right where the cricket is, causing it to drop down into the shower and hop onto my leg.  I freak out, and in my panic I push past him (all suds-up in my birthday suit) and take off down the hall.  When I try to make a hard left into our bedroom, my wet feet slip on the tile floor and I wipe out in the doorway - which startles our parrot into flying circles around the room.

Aside from some bruises from my fall, I was completely unhurt - and miraculously, that includes my ego.

I was not embarrassed in the least.

In fact, I had The Giggles for the next 15 minutes, imagining how chaotic that scene would have looked to any bystanders, and every time I looked at Mr. Vittles we would both crack up.

At moments like that, I wonder if Mr Vittles secretly thinks "How long is forever, again?"

But then I make things like homemade apple pies and peanut butter fudge s'mores and he probably thinks he's the luckiest husband in the world.

At least I like to believe that he thinks that.

Peanut Butter Fudge S'mores Bars

• 2 C. graham cracker crumbs (from about 11 whole graham crackers)
• 6 T. butter, cut in tablespoons
• 1 14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 C. peanut butter
• 12 oz. semisweet baking chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 1 t. vanilla extract
• 2 C. mini marshmallows
• 2 whole graham crackers, broken into small pieces

Line 9x13 pan with waxed paper or foil, letting edges overhang.  Grease with nonstick spray or butter.

Place butter in a medium heatproof bowl, and microwave in 15 second intervals until melted.  Add graham cracker crumbs and stir with a fork until moistened.  Empty bowl into prepared pan and spread crumbs out, pressing evenly into pan.

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine sweetened condensed milk with peanut butter and chocolate, stirring constantly until melted and smooth.  Remove from heat and stir in vanilla until combined. 

Pour over crumb base and quickly spread into an even layer.  Smooth out with a greased spatula, then sprinkle marshmallows evenly over crust.  Press gently into chocolate mixture.  Then stick graham cracker bits in gaps between marshmallows as desired, pressing gently to set.

Cover pan and refrigerate until fudge is firm, about 2 hours.  Lift edges of foil/waxed paper to remove and cut into bars.

Recipe adapted from Annie's Eats; original source Williams Sonoma

Chewy Chocolate Coconut Blondies

The hubbs and I went to Grammy Vittles' house for dinner last week.  Her girlfriends Mae and Josie Vittles were visiting from Florida, so she had us and my stepdad over.

And oh my goodness.  I only hope that I can have as much fun as these ladies do when I am old and gray.

All three women are widows with condos in the same building on the beach in Florida.  My grandmother spends January through May there, and another month sometime in the fall as well.  (The rest of the time she lives about 5 minutes away from our house!)  And over the years the three of them have found wonderful friends in each other.

Mae, Grammy, & Josie Vittles

Mae and Josie spend an unfathomable amount of time together, and they argue like a married couple.  And after spending 15 straight days with them, I think they were getting on Grammy Vittles' last nerve!

For instance, Mae is always hot and Josie is always cold - so Gram V was doing a whole lot of thermostat shifting throughout their visit.  They also have a very particular way of doing things, and Lord help you if you get in their way!

But in the words of Chris Vittles, they are a hoot.  They had us cracking up.

At this point, I don't think any of them have much of a filter left.  "When you get to be our age," Mae explained, "you get to say and do whatever you want."

Mr. Vittles can hardly wait to get to that point. 

He's already got his fingers crossed for dentures.

"My teeth will be perfect.  Bright & white... straight as a whip..."

He is also anxiously awaiting the transformation of his eyebrows into furry caterpillars.

And at the age of 29, his brows are already growing at an alarming rate.  Not to mention, this trait does run in the family.  So this is a very real possibility.

 actual age simulation

 
As for me, I'm not too psyched for old age.

I already have a few rogue chin hairs I have to pluck, and as time goes on they're only going to make more & more friends. 

Yaya Vittles has been telling me since I was a wee Maggie "Don't get old, Mag."  If only I didn't have to!

But when I do get there, I think I'll say and do whatever I want, too.

And I will definitely eat as many of these blondies as I want.

Chewy Chocolate Coconut Blondies

• 1 C. cup flour
• 1 stick (8 T.) butter, melted and cooled to room temperature
• 1 C. light brown sugar, packed
• 1 large egg
• 1 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• 1 C. sweetened flaked coconut
• 1 C. chocolate chips or chunks

Topping:

• 1/2 C. chocolate chips
• 1 t. butter (which is 1/3 of a tablespoon)

Grease and flour an 8" inch square baking pan.  Heat oven to 350°.

Beat melted butter and brown sugar together until smooth; beat in egg and vanilla extract until well blended.

Slowly beat in the flour until blended, then stir in the coconut and chocolate chips or chocolate chunks.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until set in the center but still soft. Do not overbake.

Let the bars cool slightly before drizzling with chocolate (melt chocolate & butter together in microwave-safe dish, in 10-second intervals, & keep stirring until smooth - then use a spoon to drizzle over bars).  Cool completely before cutting into small squares.


Recipe (barely) Adapted  from Southern Food on About.com

Butter Pecan Turtle Bars

Alright people, enough with this Facebook stuff.   Let's get back down to business, here.

I realized that I forgot to post the other special recipe from Momma Vittles' brunch, which was actually the most requested recipe of the day - Butter Pecan Turtle Bars.

I know I said I made 5 desserts which includes these bars, the mini cupcakes, and the lemon sables...

...but in case you were wondering, the other two desserts were brownie bites and chocolate chip cookies.

Someday I will share the chocolate chip cookie recipe with you, because it is pretty awesome.  But since there are already so many good CCC recipes out there, we will save that for a rainy day.

As for the brownies, those were from a box.

Eww, don't judge, ok?  They were lovingly mixed, spooned into mini muffin cups, and sprinkled with coarse sugar by my very dutiful helper (and BFF) Lauren Vittles.

(She is preggers, at the moment almost 18 weeks, but her hubby Tyler Vittles let me borrow her for the weekend to help prepare for and attend the brunch in Momma Vittles' honor.  And... I loved every second!)

Now, as for the butter pecan turtle cookies, this is actually a recipe that Momma Vittles used to make at Christmas time.

Why, I have no clue.  Really, they are delicious any time of year.

But unfortunately I lost the recipe, so I had to go searching for one on the internet that sounded similar.  I found one on About.com that seemed to do the trick.

Now I will admit, I am not a big fan of nuts (especially the dreaded walnut - yucky!!) but I really like this dessert.  So if nuts aren't your thing, don't be scared - I promise, the big, bad pecan won't hurt you.

Butter Pecan Turtle Bars

Crust

• 2 C. all-purpose flour
• 3/4 C. light brown sugar, packed
• 1/2 C. butter (1 stick), softened

Topping

• 1 1/2 C. pecan halves
• 1/2 C. light brown sugar, packed
• 2/3 C. butter
• 1 1/2 C. chocolate chips (I like semi-sweet, but you can do milk if you prefer)

Combine flour, 3/4 cup brown sugar and 1/2 cup butter; blend until crumbly. Pat mixture firmly onto bottom of ungreased 9x13-inch baking pan. Sprinkle pecan halves over the unbaked crust. Set aside.

In small saucepan, combine 1/2 cup brown sugar and 2/3 cup butter. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture begins to boil. Boil for one minute, stirring constantly. Drizzle hot the caramel mixture over pecans and crust.

Bake at 350° for 18 to 20 minutes or until caramel layer is bubbly and crust is light brown. Remove from oven and immediately sprinkle with chocolate chips. Use a small spatula or butter knife to spread chips evenly as they melt. Cool completely before cutting into squares.

Recipe from About.com, by Diana Rattray

Chocolate Oatmeal Fudge Bars

Much unlike me, Mr. Vittles could take or leave desserts.  He usually eats sweets more as a snack than a dessert, and for the most part, seems strangely indifferent to their sugary goodness.

But on the rare occasion he latches on to something, he doesn't let go.

Like... the ricotta cookies, and now these.

I made these chocolate oatmeal fudge bars for the first time a few weeks ago, as a dessert to bring to a friend's birthday dinner party.  Mr V. was supposed to accompany me to said party, but at the last minute he couldn't go because there was a fire at the golf course where he manages.

!!

Which would be a really insane excuse not to go a dinner party (I'm sure people have used it) but I did see pictures and can confirm their storage shed really did get reduced to rubble.

Anyhoo... since he was not going to be able to try this new recipe at the party (AND I was having a very small gathering of my own a couple nights later) I saved about a third of the batch to keep at home.  Which is actually a lot, because these are very rich and I cut them into small pieces.

But apparently...that was not enough.

Between the night after the birthday party and the next day, I could not pry these things from his grubby little paws.

In fact, I had to explicitly tell him NOT to touch any more of the oatmeal cookie bars until after our party.  Which I thought would be fine since a) he's not a big sweets guy and b) there were still some cookies and cupcakes left over from Momma Vittles' brunch.

But alas, this was not the case.  I was told that the oatmeal bars were "dominant" and that he could see no other desserts in their presence.

Then yesterday, I was told it was "time to make more of those oatmeal things", and he again used the term "dominant" to describe them.

Kind of a strange choice of words... must be a powerful attraction.

So even though its currently 81 degrees in our home (our AC is not so great so we don't even bother unless its super hot), I fired up the oven and made the Dominant Oatmeal Bars.

Which are, by the way, a layer of oatmeal cookie, topped with a soft, chocolately fudge, and then more droplets of oatmeal cookie.

Yes.  What a good wifey I am.

And after they had cooled and I went to go cut them into squares ... I found that a little mouse had already taken a sample:

 

 A 6'4" mouse that knows how to use a knife.

Chocolate Oatmeal Fudge Bars

For the oatmeal layer:

• 2½ C all-purpose flour
• 1 t. baking soda
• 1 t. salt
• ¼ t. ground cinnamon
• 1 C. (2 sticks) butter, at room temperature
• 2 C. light brown sugar, packed
• 2 large eggs
• 2 t. vanilla extract
• 3 C. old-fashioned oats

For the chocolate layer:

• 1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
• 2 C. semisweet chocolate chips
• 2 T. butter
• ¼ t. salt
• 1 t. vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 350° F.  Line the a 9 x 13-inch baking pan with foil (preferably nonstick) that overlaps the edges, and grease with nonstick cooking spray.

Make the oatmeal cookie layer:  Combine the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a medium bowl and whisk to blend.  Set aside.  In a large mixing bowl, beat the butter on medium-high speed until it is soft and creamy, about 1 minute.  Add the brown sugar and beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.  Mix in the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.  Blend in the vanilla.  With the mixer on low speed, mix in the dry ingredients you set aside just until incorporated.  Mix in the oats on low or with a rubber spatula until evenly combined.

Reserve 1½ cups of the mixture.  Place the remaining dough in the prepared pan and press over the bottom of the pan in an even layer.

Make the chocolate layer: combine the condensed milk, chocolate chips, butter and salt in a microwave safe bowl. Heat in 15 second increments, stirring after each, until mixture is smooth.  Stir in the vanilla.

Pour the warm chocolate mixture over the oatmeal cookie layer and spread evenly with an offset spatula.  (Tip: Spray one side of spatula with nonstick cooking spray to spread more easily, if desired)  Crumble the remaining oatmeal cookie mixture and scatter evenly over the top of the chocolate.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the topping is golden brown and the chocolate layer is starting to pull away from the sides of the pan.  Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let cool completely.  Lift foil out of pan, and cut into bars as desired. (I would recommend cutting them fairly small, as they are pretty rich).

Recipe Adapted from Annie's Eats