Tuesday, February 14, 2012

On Love & eHarmony (and a Giveaway!)



I know that Vittles and Bits is a place where most of you come to get recipes, but some of you come to get stories, too. And today I want to share with you a story very close to my heart. (And also a giveaway! So even if you hate stories-just read on, k?)

Now given the nature of my blog, I typically only consider food-related reviews, but when I was recently offered an opportunity to review the online dating site eHarmony, I jumped at the chance.

Maybe some of you have already tried online dating, but if not, you might have ideas about what it's like.

It's weird.

The people on there are probably freaks.

They might lie to you.

They might hurt you.

And you know what? I thought a lot of those things too, until a time in my life when I was approaching the age of 25 and things were not going nearly as great as I had planned.

I was living in a crappy little place, working at a crappy job, and had just gotten out of a crappy 2 year relationship. (In all fairness, only the last half of that relationship was crappy, but you get the point).

I knew, though, I was ready to be serious with someone.

I knew the characteristics I wanted in a man.

I knew what I could live with and what was a deal-breaker.

I knew I didn't want to start back at Square One with a guy only to have it turn out to be n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

What I didn't know, however, was where to find another person in this same frame of mind.

But I had seen eHarmony commercials and was intrigued. I had some friends who had tried other 'popular' sites with no luck, saying it's no different from meeting a stranger at a bar. What attracted me instantly to eHarmony was the fact that they matched you with people.

This is where the old adage, "You get what you pay for," comes into play. Since I was looking for a quality relationship, I went to a quality website.

No sifting through pages upon pages of profiles that fit some vague criteria you thought would 'narrow things down.' No trudging through countless dates with people you have nothing in common with. No canoodling with people who could care less about your values and life goals, let alone share them with you. (Plus, this process seemed to lessen the probability of running into the aforementioned Freaks, Liars, and People That Can Hurt You. Bonus!)

To be honest, at this time in my life my paycheck barely covered my bills, let alone extras. But I reasoned that what I'd spend over one or two nights out at some lame bar with a bunch of predatory losers could cover a whole month's subscription to eHarmony. And if, in that month, I found no one of interest, then I would chalk it up to experience and move on.

Either that, or it would be the best money I ever spent.

Luckily for me, the latter turned out to be true. In that one month, I went on dates with three people from the site-Mr. Vittles was the first one I started emailing but the last one I met in person. We connected instantly on our first date. The next day, I called the other two gentlemen and told them while I had enjoyed our dates, I would not be able to see them again.

Not because I had psychic abilities and foresaw Mr. Vittles and I enveloped in wedded bliss, but because I knew the way I felt with him was the way every first date should feel. Not casual. Electric. And I wasn't going to settle for anything less.

After a few months, I knew this was light years ahead of any other relationship I'd had in the past. I had been in love before but never like this. After four months of dating, we took our first vacation together. (Belize!) After only six months of dating, we got an apartment together. After a year and a half of dating, we got engaged. And we were married just days before the two-year anniversary of our first date.


Like any couple, we've had our ups and downs. We've been through good times and bad.  But after more than 4 years together, I can honestly say I found not only a 'quality relationship' but a life partner.

Someone to share my hopes & dreams with. Someone who makes me laugh every single day. Someone I can wipe out in front of and not feel embarrassed. Someone whose shoulder I can cry on. Someone I can share my secrets with. Someone I can disagree with on silly issues, but is always on the same page with the things that truly matter. Someone who looks toward the future in the same direction as I do.

Someone who adores me as much as I adore him.

And even though we lived not more than 8 miles from each other, I probably would never have met my husband if it weren't for eHarmony. I owe my greatest happiness in life to this company.

And yet they paid me to write this post. How crazy is that??

Told ya it was the best money I ever spent!

Speaking of spending...eHarmony and BlogHer were cool enough to offer one of you lucky readers a $100 Visa gift card!

If you're like me and already have a great lady or fella in your life, you can take that lucky person out for a night on the town. Or if you're single, you can get yourself a new outfit to help you feel fabulous on your next date.

***PLEASE NOTE THAT THE GIVEAWAY PERIOD HAS ENDED, AS OF 3/15/12***

Either way, to enter for a chance to win just leave me a comment answering the question: "What is the most important character trait your partner must have, and why?"

Rules:
No duplicate comments. You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods: a) Leave a comment in response to the question above b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry. This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected. The Official Rules are available here. This sweepstakes runs from 2/14/2012 -3/15/2012.

Thanks to everyone for indulging me in this chance to share a story that's very special to me. Now get to entering!

Visit the BlogHer.com eHarmony page to check out more blogger success stories and for more chances to win!

104 comments:

  1. I think honesty or trustworthiness is the most important trait!

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  2. honesty... because without that, everything else is questionable

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  3. I think the most important character trait in a partner is tenacity. When the going gets tough (as is bound to happen in any relationship), you need someone who won't give up just because things are hard. You need someone who will stick with you through thick and thin.

    mami2jcn at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  4. tweet:

    https://twitter.com/#!/mami2jcn/status/169431059824508928

    mami2jcn at gmail dot com

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  5. I think the most important traits in a relationship are communication, honesty and tolerance.

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  6. https://twitter.com/#!/rosorior/status/169447748549099520

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  7. This post was so sweet, and even got me teary eyed this Valentine's morning!

    I think the most important character trait in a significant other is tolerance. No one is perfect, and at the end of the day no one is EXACTLY who you think they are. We are all flawed in more ways than one, but finding that one person who loves you in spite of all of those flaws, that's what forever is made of!

    XO.

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  8. I was going to say a sense of humor, but I got swayed by the tenacity post. For a lasting marriage, you do need someone who is willing to work through the issues. It's never been my strongest trait, but luckily I found a man who has it in spades! And a great sense of humor!

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  9. what a great post! i love humor.. gotta be able to laugh!

    vanitizebaby at yahoo dot com

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  10. tweet

    https://twitter.com/#!/MeandBells/status/169525209077006336

    vanitizebaby at yahoo dot com

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  11. I think the most important quality is honesty...as long as you can always trust your partner, you can deal with everything else :)

    Susan Laughlin

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  12. humor - for the day to day

    blueblanket@hotmail.com

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  13. I love that you met each other on eHarmony! I just felt like I was reading my own story! My boyfriend and I are going on 4 years now, thanks to eHarmony!
    I think patience, communication, and trust are the most important things.

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  14. Wonderful story .... !

    Honesty ... reliability ... + compatiblity helps all relationships.

    Going to send this to several single pals. Maybe they will reconsider dating! Ha.

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  15. That's such an awesome story you have with your husband!

    I think one of the most important traits is the ability to balance both humor and seriousness. My husband and I can go from laughing and being goofy to having a serious conversation, which makes our marriage work.

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  16. compassion bc it shows if the person is genuine and kind.

    pokergrl8 at gmail.com

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  17. https://twitter.com/#!/aes529/status/169570677488234497
    pokergrl8 at gmail.com

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  18. COMPASSION AND HONESTY

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  19. Honesty and an open mind. Love your story!

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  20. a sense of humor because i need a good laugh every now and again

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  21. The most important character trait my partner must have is honesty. That is because I believe all relationships build on trust. I don’t think I can trust someone that’s not honest. 

    Amy [at] utry [dot] it

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  22. I tweeted about this giveaway: https://twitter.com/#!/uTry_it/status/169928693995683840


    Amy [at] utry [dot] it

    ReplyDelete
  23. sense of humor

    karinaroselee at gmail dot com

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  24. i tweeted

    https://twitter.com/#!/karinaroselee/status/169931333844471809

    karinaroselee at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  25. My partner must be honest otherwise I can't trust him

    s2s2 at comcast dot net

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  26. https://twitter.com/#!/susan1215/status/169957591743598592

    s2s2 at comcast dot net

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  27. Honesty is the most important to me, I want to be able to trust whoever I am with.
    sweokgrl@gmail.com

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  28. tweeted
    https://twitter.com/#!/bdiane35/status/169983352273768448

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  29. First, I met my husband on eHarmony as well! We've been married almost a year and are expecting our first child! He makes me so glad that I gave online dating a chance.
    Anyways, the quality that was most important to me when I was looking for a relationship was definitely honesty. I could never be with someone I didn't trust and who didn't trust me.
    purchaseamy@gmail.com

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  30. The most important trait is integrity. If a man is not his word than the trust is lacking which is a foundation in a relationship

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  31. Most important characteristics: A body that won't quit, and a vocabulary that doesn't include the word "no."

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  32. the most important trait is religious conviction! Thanks for a super giveaway!
    My email: anashct1 [at] yahoo [dot] com

    ReplyDelete
  33. Tweeted: https://twitter.com/#!/anashct/status/170641596524675073

    Thanks for the chance to win!
    email: anashct1 [at] yahoo [dot] com

    ReplyDelete
  34. The most important character trait to me is kindness! Thanks so much for a chance to win, too! Best wishes,
    kmassmanATgmailDOTcom

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  35. transparency--i.e. honesty--without it a relationship is doomed.

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  36. https://twitter.com/#!/fostertam/status/170869104461365248

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  37. aww how cute! congrats! sense of humor for me- life is too short to not be laughing. scg00387 at yahoo dot com

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  38. https://twitter.com/#!/DesMoinesDealin/status/170969782873624576 scg00387 at yahoo dot com

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  39. The most important trait for me is having a belief in God. He must have a spiritual nature and put God first. Another important trait is trust and honesty.
    tweety800265(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  40. Tweeted
    https://twitter.com/#!/disneyfan40/status/171018514025553920
    tweety800265(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  41. My partner has to be a hard worker. Not a workaholic, but willing to pull his own weight and put an effort into the relationship.
    chainmail (at)iwon dot com

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  42. I tweeted
    https://twitter.com/#!/The_Sunshyn/status/171318575926214656

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  43. patience is important because i can't stand people who are upset all the time
    thepryfamily@gmail.com

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  44. https://twitter.com/#!/thepryfamily/status/171373814695997441
    thepryfamily@gmail.com

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  45. trustworthy, because without trust there can't be a solid relationship/marriage.
    family74014 at gmail dot com

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  46. APPRECIATION! IT GOES A LONG WAY WHEN YOUR IN A RELATIONSHIP! =)

    kytah00@yahoo.com

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  47. 2ND ENTRY TWEET https://twitter.com/#!/kytah00/status/171812357515915266

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  48. I think the one thing for me is probably honor. If you dont honor your word, you can't possibly honor the promise of marriage and stick to it. Marriage isn't always easy and without someone you know you can count on, it doesn't work.

    tannawings@gmail.com

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  49. https://twitter.com/#!/tannawings/status/171814500155133952

    tannawings@gmail.com

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  50. The most important character trait my partner must have is sense of humor. To be able to always look the bright side when things go unplanned/wrong.
    tcarolinep at gmail dot com

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  51. https://twitter.com/#!/tcarolinep/status/171836988226404353

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  52. For me, the most important character trait my partner must have is loyalty. This doesn't just mean not straying, but also defending me, treating me well, and believing in me and our relationship.

    jfong1130 at yahoo dot com

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  53. https://twitter.com/#!/jfong1130/status/171842403806879746

    jfong1130 at yahoo dot com

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  54. The most important character trait my partner must have is honesty, because I cannot trust anyone who is not honest especially who is your partner.
    ctong2[at]gmail[dot]com

    ReplyDelete
  55. I tweeted about this giveaway:
    https://twitter.com/#!/ctong2/status/171886189924728834

    ctong2[at]gmail[dot]com

    ReplyDelete
  56. My husband must be loyal to family because that is the basis for a good relationship.

    KellywcuATyahooDOTcom

    ReplyDelete
  57. tweeted
    https://twitter.com/#!/kellydsaver/status/171961034335207425

    kellywcuATyahooDOTcom

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  58. I think loyalty is the most important quality I could find in a partner. As I continue my search to find a great guy, I've realized we all have our quirks but someone who will appreciate them no matter what, and I his is a rare and awesome thing.

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  59. Trustworthiness. You have to be able to trust someone.

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  60. trustworthy - to be able to feel safe and to be able to completely trust that other person.

    jacquieastemborski AT comcast DOT net

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  61. I think the most important character trait is caring and understand. I have dated alot of guys in the past who never show that to me.

    purple_lover_04 at msn dot com

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  62. https://twitter.com/#!/purplelover04/status/173171415258906625

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  63. Love your story!

    https://twitter.com/#!/davisesq212/status/173795700994359296

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  64. The most important trait would be trust because if you cannot trust each other, what really do you have?

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  65. Thank you for sharing your story!!
    Trust, honesty & being able to compromise!

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  66. honesty, kindness to others, and loyalty

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  67. love his family. family means a lot to me
    merleandtina@yahoo.com

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  68. https://twitter.com/#!/HappyTina0115/status/174558344307163136
    merleandtina@yahoo.com

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  69. I think that honesty is the most important character trait for a partner to have.

    melduke26 at gmail dot com

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  70. Honesty because you've got to be able to trust your partner!

    debbiebellows (at) gmail (dot) com

    ReplyDelete
  71. here is the link to my tweet:

    https://twitter.com/#!/bellows22/status/174687059917815808

    debbiebellows (at) gmail (dot) com

    ReplyDelete
  72. Kindness because I couldn't love an unkind person!

    ReplyDelete
  73. tweeted: https://twitter.com/#!/KerryBishop/status/174697547464589313
    nuthouse(at)centurytel(dot)net

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  74. my partner must have a good sense of humor because i love to laugh and it helps you get through the hard times

    ReplyDelete
  75. The most important character trait to me is humor. Life is so hard some days and a sense of humor would make life so much more fun and enjoyable during the hard times.
    landfjacobson @ charter.net

    ReplyDelete
  76. I tweeted
    https://twitter.com/#!/Ilovemybeagle2/status/175648713660841984
    landfjacobson @ charter.net

    ReplyDelete
  77. Thanks for sharing the story it's so sweet! The trait I look for is honesty because I think trust is the most important in a relationship.
    songyueyu at gmail

    ReplyDelete
  78. tweet: https://twitter.com/#!/syytta/status/175904606856024064
    songyueyu at gmail

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  79. My partner must have compassion because when things are not so good I know I can always count on him to tell me everything is going to be okay. thanks!
    ashleygatewood1(AT)gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  80. https://twitter.com/#!/shuggysmommy/status/176021136616865792
    ashleygatewood1(AT)gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  81. What a sweet post. I enjoyed reading it! The most important trait for me in my partner is honesty. I feel that this must exist for the relationship to work for both people involved. It must exist from both parties.

    katbirdfl (at) gmail (dot) com

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  82. Tweet: https://twitter.com/#!/katbirdfl/status/176161223904215040

    katbirdfl (at) gmail (dot) com

    ReplyDelete
  83. I think the most important trait is kindness. It's sometimes difficult to have empathy but it would make the world a much better place if we all strove to be kinder and more empathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Tweet
    https://twitter.com/#!/didyouyarnthat/status/176984519436550144

    ReplyDelete
  85. The most important trait to me is respect. I know that my husband still respects me and all that I do even if I've only been changing poopy diapers all day long.

    kwestra810(at)gmail(dot)com

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  86. INTEGRITY is the most important character trait to me. I need to know my spouse is trustworthy, honest, faithful, and principled in all aspects of our marriage and parenting.

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  87. He must be able to make me laugh. Because a happy wife is a happy life.

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  88. I had the same reservations about joining E-harmony; and a similar past as well. My mom paid for my subscription bc at the time I couldn’t afford it. I logged on and went on a few dates and ended up meeting Jack. Jack was someone that at first glance I wouldn’t have approached but after going on several dates; for lack of a better term, he grew on me. Now we have been together for a little over a year and I’ve been the happiest I have ever been in my life. So I encourage all of my single friends to try out e-harmony. Some have had luck others have not but I truly believe that E-harmony is the way to go!

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  89. What a neat love story you have! I enjoyed reading it! After growing up with a father that was unsympathetic and uncaring when my mom wasn't feeling well, I was looking for the opposite in a man. I found him! Just last night when I was had a horrid migraine, my hubby was so self-sacrificing... getting me an ice pack, a washcloth for my forehead, my medicines, and then rubbing my feet to distract me... all while being exhausted and ready to fall asleep. He has always been so good to me!

    ReplyDelete
  90. Supportiveness, hands down. I need to know that my husband will support me no matter what, even if I am acting terribly and being unreasonable (not to him, but others). I need to feel validated, even if he needs to gently redirect my crazy.

    wolverina401 at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  91. In my opinion, the most important thing to look for in someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is trust because that is the backbone of any relationship. Without having complete trust in your partner, it is very hard for the relationship to weather the bumps that inevitably come.

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  92. A loyal and forgiving spirit. Relationships are tough and you want to have someone who will fight for the relationship.

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  93. Make me laugh. Humor can get you thru the hardest of times, this I know from experience!
    Angie
    14earth at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  94. I tweeted here: https://twitter.com/#!/MsTofuFairy/status/179262708984717313
    Angie
    14earth at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  95. Integrity is so important! Integrity comes with so many other great things!

    kristisdeals1 at yahoo dot com

    ReplyDelete
  96. My husband is a great source of emotional strength for me.

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  97. I think its important to be able to communicate openly and honestly with each other aunteegem@yahoo.com

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  98. It's got to be respect. If he isn't respectful towards others, it's a sure bet sooner or later, he'll stop being respectful of me.
    chipdip2010(at)hotmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  99. Tweeted https://twitter.com/#!/chipdip2010/status/180093108283904000
    chipdip2010(at)hotmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  100. For me, honesty is the most important because without it you lose trust. Humor is next since it helps through the hard times.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Tweet: http://twitter.com/njhhb/statuses/180235283307053057

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  102. For me, it's a shared sense of humor to find the funny in life.
    Thanks for the contest.

    ReplyDelete
  103. blogged:
    http://slehan.blogspot.com/2012/03/win-100-visa-gc-from-blogher-and.html

    ReplyDelete
  104. Sense of humor because life is hard without one!

    ReplyDelete

I love reading your comments!

If you have a question or problem you can also feel free to email me at vittlesandbits@gmail.com. Thanks for visiting :)

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